Tag: advantages of blogs

Motivation

Just finish

bhillay

“You can’t finish what you don’t start, and you should never start what you’re not committed to finish.” — Gary Ryan Blair

Always finish what you start. There will be times when you want to quit, but there’s nothing better than the satisfaction of finishing something and knowing that you did not give up. This will help you become resilient. This will make other challenges in life easier to get through.

You can’t place in a race unless you finish. One of the things I loved most about running track was when it was that person who was in last place in a long distance race, and the entire crowd would clap and cheer for them as they crossed the finish line. They may have taken last place, but they finished. That’s what everyone was proud of. They won the mental and physical battle.

I never quit a sport or a team in my life. As a kid, my mom wouldn’t let me. I’m glad she instilled that mentality in me. There will be times when you don’t like your team, or your job, or whatever endeavor you choose to pursue. Things will get hard or mundane and quitting will be the easiest thing to do. Not quitting and getting through those times is what helps build character. You’ll learn a lot of life lessons along the way.

There’s no better feeling to me than finishing a book. Even if I don’t like the book, I’m still satisfied that I finished what I started. This is a mentality that has been very beneficial in my life.

My senior year in college I decided to drop out of classes to pursue playing in the NFL. I only had about a semester and a half until graduating. I was on a full ride scholarship and chose to give that up to follow my dreams. I knew I would be able to eventually come back and finish my degree (even if I had to pay out of pocket) because I’ve developed the habit of finishing whatever I start. It wasn’t a “if” but a “when” for me when it came to graduating.

You can separate yourself from competition just by finishing. A lot of people will begin to write a book, or make an album, or take courses in college, etc, but not everyone will finish. If you can finish whatever it is that you start, you already beat out half of the competition.

The only way to find out what will come from certain situations is to finish. If you are a creator, you have to finish whatever you’re creating and get it out into the universe to really see what will come from it. There might be someone out there who needs whatever you’re creating. They just need you to finish it.

Just like that person who comes in last place in the distance race, you will be rewarded no matter what, if you finish.

Motivation, Random Thoughts

Study The Greats

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The good thing about the internet is that you can use a search engine and learn about any person that you want. This can make your journey to success much easier. There are blueprints to success. You just have to follow them.

For every running back who I liked growing up, I can tell you where they are from, what college they went to, their height, weight, their 40 yard dash time, college stats, and what round they were drafted in the NFL. This gave me a good paradigm of what I needed to do to make it to the NFL. I didn’t have to reinvent the wheel, I just had to do things that were simular to the guys that have already reached the goals that I wanted to reach.

These players were like mentors to me, and I never met them a day in my life. I just had to study their actions, good and bad. I learned what to do to get to the NFL and I also learned what not to do.

It goes beyond sports though. I know the story of my favorite actors, writers, entrepreneurs, etc. This is good for me to know because if I ever want to get to where they are, I know I have to do something similar to what they did to get there. There are no shortcuts to success.

I’ve had peers who never played college football tell me that they plan to play football professionally. I never crush their dreams, but I also know it’s not that simple . You have to respect the craft and put in the appropriate work. If they studied any player who made it to the NFL, they’d know that their plan to skip a lot of steps and still make it to the NFL is illogical.

It gets deeper than just studying the moves someone made in their life. You have to also learn their mentality. How did Kobe get that “mamba mentality”? Where did he even come up with calling hisself the “Black Mamba”? The answers are out there, you just have to find them.

I like to read books that successful people recommend. Maybe I’ll get the same things out of that book that they did. If not, at least I know I am on the right path.

You can study your friends, relatives, coworkers, anybody. If someone has something that you want, or are in a profession that you’d like to be in, or are at a place in life where you’d like to be, study how they got there and make similar choices. You’re half way there if you can do that.

Faith

Count your blessings

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If you are reading this blog post, that’s a blessing. If you can comprehend this blog post, that’s a blessing. We have so many blessings that we often take for granted. We can really find blessings in everything in life.

I always could run very fast. It is just a God given gift. I always appreciated it and used it to my advantage whenever I could. Then I ruptured my achilles.

Not only could I not run anymore. I also could not walk. I had to learn how to walk again. I’ll never forget the first time I walked again about 8 weeks after my surgery to repair my achilles. I was at Target and I was in a walking boot. I could only walk very slow, and it was still kind of painful to walk. This brought me so much joy. I had taken walking for granted my entire life. It made me think of all of the other things that I do daily without thought that I take for granted.

We have so many blessings that we should be thankful for. Even when times are hard and you might not be optimistic about things in life, you still have a lot of things to be thankful for.

When you are thankful for all of your blessing, large and small, you will have a more positive outlook on life, and really just be happier overall.

It’s when we only think about the bad things in life when we begin to not be happy. When I tore my achilles, I could have focused on all of the bad things. Instead, I was just happy that I could walk again. I was happy that I had insurance to have surgery, and that my surgery went well. Those were all blessings.

Thank God for all of your blessings right now, because the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Also, whenever you’re in a crisis, there are still blessings in that situation that you can be thankful for.

Motivation

An object at rest remains at rest

bhillay

When I was young, I thought that everyone earned more money as they increase in age. I thought that most things change for the better with time. You earn more money, you become wiser, you get rid of your bad habits, etc. That was very young and naïve of me to think that.

Life is actually like Newton’s first law of motion: an object at rest remains at rest, unless a force is applied.

You don’t just magically earn more money as you get older. You have to grind for it. You don’t just stop being lazy as you get older, you will remain lazy until you do the deliberate actions that are needed to not be lazy. You don’t get smarter with time, you have to put the effort in to learn. If not, you will not change. You will be the same exact person you were in the past, until a force is applied.

If you are in a better place in life than you were a decade ago, odds are you put the work in to be there. You might know someone who is in the same place in life after a decade, if not worse. If you look at their actions, you will understand why.

Your hardships or whatever situation that you are in right now can be as temporary as you want them to be. The choice is yours. But don’t be naïve like the kid version of me and think that things will change for the better for you over time with no action and effort. Apply some force or stay at rest.

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Your parents are just people

bhillay

I think one of the keys to growth and happiness is realizing that your parents are just regular people too. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at them as just a random person who has their own flaws, insecurities, proclivities and addictions. They also have their own dreams and aspirations that might not involve their children, which is ok.

Sometimes you are not dealt that ideal parent-child relationship. That is okay. You just have to accept the relationship for what it is and get the most out of it. I’ve heard people say “there’s things I wish my mom/dad would have taught me” or something along those lines. Maybe your parents were never taught those things from their parents.We can’t expect to receive things from our parents that were never given to them.

I know there are individuals out there who just are bad people, but I think most “bad” parents want to be good parents. They might have never learned how to be one. Maybe they made personal decisions that hurt their ability to be a good parent. Some parents don’t even realize that they’ve had a negative impact on their child’s life. They might be there for the child on a daily basis, but still aren’t doing what they need to do to nurture the physical, emotional and social development of their child. Sometimes an absent parent can be better than a bad parent that is present.

I think what’s key for a parent-child relationship is empathy and communication. You have to understand and share the feelings of your parents, the same way you can for a random person who is not your parent. You might have to nurture your parents emotionally and spiritually. That is fine. Maybe that is what God called you to do in the first place. Sometimes parents need help from their children. I know a lot of people who find purpose and happiness in life just from the presence of their child. Imagine what’s possible if that child deliberately chose to bring happiness and purpose into that parent’s life.

Sometimes the circle of life happens much faster than we would like. Most people will have to nurture and take care of their parents once they begin to get older in age. Others might have to nurture and care for their parents at a very young age.

They say life is the best teacher. If your parents offer you nothing in life, you can still at least learn from all of their mistakes. A smart person learns from his mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others.

Communication is also key. Have you ever told your parent how you felt about them? Have you ever ask your parent how they feel as a parent, and just in life in general? We can tell our parents what we need, or needed as a kid. At least they can learn and possibly be better in the future. And even if they aren’t better in the future, that’s ok. Just accept the relationship for what it is. You can drive yourself crazy trying to get something from someone who just doesn’t have it to give.

At the end of the day, our parents are just people and we are all children of God. That is Who will never let you down. That’s Who we should really look to for direction, purpose, growth and happiness.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8

Motivation

Earn Your Perfect Attendance Award

bhillay

One of the first awards I can ever remember winning as a kid is the Perfect Attendance award. This is the award a kid receives from their school at the end of the school year as an honor for being present every day of school during that year.

Initially, if it were up to me, I would have never gotten that award. There were days that I did not want to go to school and would rather stay home and play video games . There were days where I felt under the weather and felt as if I shouldn’t go to school. On those days, my mom would still make me go to school. She would tell me the importance of going to school everyday and how my ancestors sacrificed a lot just for me to be able to go to school. I couldn’t miss school for being sick unless I had a fever of like 100 F or higher. My mom would tell me I could not fake sick, cause one day I really will be sick, and I need to save my “sick days” for when I really am.

After a while I wanted to go to school everyday. I loved the gratification of getting that perfect attendance award at the end of the year. It also showed me what is possible when you really commit to something. Not only did I get the award, I would also receive every daily lesson of education at school. My perfect attendance reflected on my grades and intelligence. It also reflected on my drive.

My mom wasn’t just teaching me to go to school everyday, she was teaching me how to be consistent and how to finish what I started. She was teaching me how to do things even if I did not feel like it. Those are the same traits that helped me graduate from college and even helped me excel in sports. It’s a mindset.

In football, you often hear the saying “ the best ability is availability”. I knew I could beat players out for the starting job because I knew that I would show up everyday. Something as simple as that can separate you from others. I never missed workouts. I never missed practice. And for the most part in college, I never missed classes . That “perfect attendance” mentality is what kept me self-driven. I think it should be apart of everyone’s mentality. That is probably why in college your attendance is part of your grade.

I know people who flunked out of school because of their attendance. I know people who got fired from their job because they missed too many days. They might call in “sick” when they really aren’t sick. They might miss school because they just don’t feel like it. I believe these bad habits are formed as a kid. Like a coach would always say to us; it’s either coached, or allowed.

A parent is either coaching their kid to miss school often as a kid, or they are allowing it. My mom did not coach or allow it. In return she instilled the importance of showing up daily, being responsible, being consistent, and really just getting the most that I can get out of whatever endeavor that I choose to pursue.

No matter what you do, rather it’s school, work, or your goals and aspirations, you have to show up everyday. Because there is someone out there with the same goals and objectives as you, who will. The one who can show up everyday will be the one who is successful.

Learn and practice showing up every day and watch how it positively impacts your life.

Motivation, Random Thoughts

Lane Ends – Merge Left

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Don’t panic, it’s not the end of the road, just the end of that lane. You can still get to your destination, you just have to merge into a more suitable lane.

Follow the signs in life to merge lanes when needed. Also understand that you might be in the lane that people are merging into. So give them room to merge. Don’t be a hater. We can all get to our destination.

It’s when you ignore the signs of the lane ending, that’s when you have a problem. Or when you ignore the sign and drive to the end of the lane and then force your way into the line of those who already merged. That’s not how things work. You should not feel so entitled.

The sign was put there for you to successfully reach your destination. Follow the laws of success.

As you gain more experience in life, you’ll be better able to anticipate the signs you may come across on the road to success. Trust them and follow through in order to reach your destination.

Uncategorized

Diversify your skills

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Diversify your skills so that you will always be needed.

In football I always aimed to be a “complete running back”. This means I didn’t want to be good at just running the ball. I wanted to be a good catcher, run good routes, a good pass blocker, have good ball security… I wanted to run with both speed and power. I wanted to have good vision and I wanted to be smart. This helped me be a more valuable running back, which in return helped me win the starting running back job time after time.

If a running back cannot catch the ball or pass block, they will be limited to just playing on first and second down. If you aren’t that fast, you might be limited to just short yardage plays. If you have bad vision or fumble the ball a lot, you might not play at all.

When I made it to the NFL I knew that if I wanted to see the field I would have to diversify my skills even more. I had to be able to add value to the team by also playing on Special Teams. This helped me be needed more, which in return helped me make NFL rosters. At practice, I would help wherever they needed me. I might be on scout defense one period, then scout offense the next. It did not matter to me what I was doing as long as I was contributing to the team in some type of way. I always tried to find ways to diversify my skills. In the NFL, if a team feels as if you are not valuable or not contributing to the team enough, they’ll quickly get rid of you. I began to build this sense of urgency that I should always be doing something or adding to my skillset in some type of way. This now is how I approach everything in life, and how we all should.

You have to do things to separate yourself from the competition. Your resume might be very similar to another job candidate’s, but if you have more valuable skills on your resume such as coding or knowing another language, that can help you win that job. Even when you get the job, you still can gain more skills to grow within the company or go somewhere that is a higher position.

We can work on personal skills also, such as communication, time management, problem-solving, etc. Really, it’s not just about sports or work. The more skills you have in life in general, the more valuable you are. This can make life a lot easier. Might even make you happier.

So with that being said, I encourage you to make it an effort to learn a new skill this year. The future you will thank you.

Motivation

You’re only as strong as your weakest trait

bhillay

Thomas Reid said “The chain is only as strong as its weakest link, for if that fails the chain fails and the object that it has been holding up falls to the ground”. I believe that same concept can also be applied to your personal traits.

The president might be a great leader, charismatic, courageous, a visionary, good crisis manager, etc. But if they don’t have integrity or are adulterous, that will be their downfall and perhaps all they will be remembered for.

You can be the best athlete ever and have generational talent, but if you aren’t coachable, or even make bad choices outside of your sport, you will never reach your full potential as a player.

Someone can have intentions to be a nice, loving parent who cares about their kid, but if they have a bad tempter and anger problems, they can negatively impact their kid and how their kid views them as a parent.

I was always a fast sprinter. In track, I had a good acceleration phase and could maintain my speed for a long time. My start phase was my weakest trait. I could beat most kids with a bad start out of the blocks, but as competition got better, my weakest trait of coming out of blocks slow became a bigger problem. I wasn’t able to start off slow and catch everyone mid race like usual. Some sprinters I couldn’t catch because they ran to the best of their ability and were good in every sprinting phase. The same goes for life. My weak traits might not be a problem at the moment, but that doesn’t mean they won’t cause a problem once things get harder or when I am faced with character defining moments.

We must work on our weakest traits because they will eventually hurt us in some type of way. Whether it’s sports or personal life. The good thing is we can get better and improve those weak traits before they become a real problem.

We must be conscious of all of our traits and continue to find areas where we can grow and improve. This can happen through self-reflection as well as through the help of others. This does have to be a deliberate effort though. There should be a sense of urgency to improve our weak traits because you don’t know when they will cause a problem, if they haven’t already.

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Take your kid to work

bhillay

As a kid I always loved “Take Your Kid To Work Day”. Actually, I’m old enough to remember when it was called “Take Our Daughters To Work Day”. My mom was a nurse who worked 3rd shift, so my sister would be able to go to my mom’s job (most of the time a nursing home or a hospital) and stay the night. It always seemed so fun. I always wanted to participate.

Although I never got the chance to visit my mom’s job on that national day, I still got the privilege to visit my mom’s job quite a bit growing up. It was always cool to see my mom interact with her patients. She was always so nice and loving to them. She would talk so gentle to them, and if the patient was not in the best mood, she would try to cheer them up.

The only bad thing I did not like about going to my mom’s job was the smell. Nursing homes and hospitals have this smell that I will never get used to. I never understood how it did not bother my mom. Another thing that I didn’t like that I appreciate now, is that my mom would take me and introduce me to all her coworkers and all of her patients. I can still hear her telling all of her patients ” This is my youngest boy, Bronson, he’s the baby of the family”. I used to be like “mom, you don’t gotta introduce me to EVERYBODY”.

Now I am happy that she did. I remember meeting quadriplegics, stroke victims, patients who couldn’t talk but would use an eye-gaze device to speak to me, very old patients, and sometimes younger patients. Seeing my mom interact with all these people and also getting the chance to meet them myself changed me for the better. I believe it made me more compassionate, caring, nonjudgmental, a better communicator, and even helped my ability to cope with death. Most importantly it showed me how to have a positive impact on someone’s life, and to also appreciate all of my blessings.

My sister ended up becoming a nurse also. I believe “Take Our Daughters To Work Day” is part of the reason she is a nurse like my mom. I believe kids are heavily influenced by their parent’s occupation. I think my sister becoming a nurse is something my mom can be proud of. Also, I think all the morals and values that were instilled into me from visiting my moms job is also something my mom can be proud of.

So my question is; Would you want your kid to grow up to have the same occupation as you? Would you want them to grow up to earn money the way that you do? Would you like them to grow up and have the same morals and values that comes with your job? Would that make you proud? If yes, then take your kid to work. If no, then maybe you shouldn’t be doing whatever you’re doing.