I think one of the keys to growth and happiness is realizing that your parents are just regular people too. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at them as just a random person who has their own flaws, insecurities, proclivities and addictions. They also have their own dreams and aspirations that might not involve their children, which is ok.
Sometimes you are not dealt that ideal parent-child relationship. That is okay. You just have to accept the relationship for what it is and get the most out of it. I’ve heard people say “there’s things I wish my mom/dad would have taught me” or something along those lines. Maybe your parents were never taught those things from their parents.We can’t expect to receive things from our parents that were never given to them.
I know there are individuals out there who just are bad people, but I think most “bad” parents want to be good parents. They might have never learned how to be one. Maybe they made personal decisions that hurt their ability to be a good parent. Some parents don’t even realize that they’ve had a negative impact on their child’s life. They might be there for the child on a daily basis, but still aren’t doing what they need to do to nurture the physical, emotional and social development of their child. Sometimes an absent parent can be better than a bad parent that is present.
I think what’s key for a parent-child relationship is empathy and communication. You have to understand and share the feelings of your parents, the same way you can for a random person who is not your parent. You might have to nurture your parents emotionally and spiritually. That is fine. Maybe that is what God called you to do in the first place. Sometimes parents need help from their children. I know a lot of people who find purpose and happiness in life just from the presence of their child. Imagine what’s possible if that child deliberately chose to bring happiness and purpose into that parent’s life.
Sometimes the circle of life happens much faster than we would like. Most people will have to nurture and take care of their parents once they begin to get older in age. Others might have to nurture and care for their parents at a very young age.
They say life is the best teacher. If your parents offer you nothing in life, you can still at least learn from all of their mistakes. A smart person learns from his mistakes, a wise person learns from the mistakes of others.
Communication is also key. Have you ever told your parent how you felt about them? Have you ever ask your parent how they feel as a parent, and just in life in general? We can tell our parents what we need, or needed as a kid. At least they can learn and possibly be better in the future. And even if they aren’t better in the future, that’s ok. Just accept the relationship for what it is. You can drive yourself crazy trying to get something from someone who just doesn’t have it to give.
At the end of the day, our parents are just people and we are all children of God. That is Who will never let you down. That’s Who we should really look to for direction, purpose, growth and happiness.
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8
FLY, BLACK BOY 